Saturday, January 16, 2010

How am I Free From Antics?

Simple, because I am no longer a soldier! When I was in the Army (2003-2008) I was surrounded by what I called ridiculous antics, but this isn't news to anyone who has been a soldier, knows a soldier, or has heard about soldier life. We would hurry up and wait, we would sweep dirt off pavement during a windy or rainy day, we would wax heavily used walkways during the work day, or we would look for reasons to work late on a Friday because someone made the boss mad.

Now I loved my time in the Army, for the most part, until about the middle of 2006. It started to turn around to the point that I dreaded waking up every morning, I dreaded seeing my NCO or my platoon-mates, and I dreaded Mondays worst of all. Month after month it got worse and worse until I just snapped, and I do mean snapped...I had a panic attack. The stress of my job had gotten to me so bad I had developed depression, anxiety, insomnia, and agoraphobia. I didn't even know what agoraphobia was until my psychologist explained it to me, and gave me medications for it.

At that point it got even WORSE, if you could imagine, because I was on medications and I was hassled BECAUSE of the medications. I was always tired or would wake up late, because I was being treated for insomnia. I wasn't able to drive vehicles, because of all the medications and the drowsiness. There was so much going on all the time that I wasn't able to be a part of and it made things worse for me. Finally around the end of 2007 I said screw it and asked my psychologist to just put me out, get me out of the Army because I am useless and working with the people I was working with I wasn't getting any better.

So March 2008 I was free from all the from antics...oh what a day that was. No more NCO's yelling at me for sleeping passed 6am, no more 24 hour duties back to back to back because I couldn't drive vehicles, and no more hassle because of the mental problems they gave me. I was free from the games, free from the circus, free from the morons and power hungry apes who made my life hell. I was free. And now that I am free from the antics...well...I am unemployed going on 2 years because I got out at the peak of the recession with a very...not civilian skill set.

I have taken to blogging because I have seen life in many ways, places, and perspectives and I hope I can share what some of what I have learned or know with all of you. Hope you enjoy.


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